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    • Lewis Black, The NRA & PETA November 7, 2009
      There are few groups more hateful to America and all she stands for than the NRA (and I don’t mean the National Restaurant Association). Like a Freudian nightmare, their slavish devotion to thanatos marks the decline or western civilization as clearly as that of the perversion of eros wrought on the world through Hugh [...]
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Archive for April, 2005

Hawaii – Day 5: Shangri-la

Posted by Jeff on April 28, 2005

We woke up to a slightly overcast morning and a bit cooler than previous days. It was an early wakeup since the tour debarked from a town on the north side of the island at noon. It was estimated to be about a 90 minute drive, and based on our track record from previous days, we needed at least two hours to wake up and get everything packed for the day.
Going north along the west coast was a new experience, and it turned out to be a much smoother drive. This area, being the oldest part of the island, is characterized by rolling hills, lush meadows, and a thriving farming and livestock industry. Apparently, the primary industry in these parts used to be sugarcane, until about twenty years ago when international prices of sugar became so cheap that domestic sugarcane production ground to a halt. Now, many of the cane fields are being replaced by either large expensive summer homes, or the new staple crop, eucalyptus trees, which grow fast and straight and make good lumber.
We made a quick bathroom and snack stop in Waimea, which is a thriving town with a booming agriculture and real estate business. Apparently, off-islanders prefer the temperate climate of this side of the island, and Waimea sits at a perfect altitude of around 3000′ with a beautiful view of the countryside and ocean from any single spot of land. It’s not at all surprising that so many people are buying plots of land and building homes here… it really is fantastic. The only thing that surprises me is that there is still so much open land and people haven’t already overpopulated much of the island.
After twenty more minutes of driving we turned off the main road and headed down towards the water, and then backtracked north towards Waipi’o Bay. We met the rest of our tour party (another recently-married couple) and our guide in front of an abandoned (like many other businesses in the former sugar plantation districts) general store, piled into a van and rode further towards the bay along ever-narrowing roads. Our guide reminded me of a character from a Crocodile Dundee movie… short, sandals, long hair, and very tanned. His family lived in the valley and worked for a sugar plantation until the business collapsed. Now, he raises horses and gives tours. Since the group was small, Mica made himself very available to answer questions, give history lessons, and just shoot the breeze. He seemed to have a great balance of being professional but relaxing and enjoying his job. Coming up to the edge of the valley, he put the van into low 4WD and started the quarter-mile, 1500′, single-lane, 30 degree pitch descent to the valley floor. Apparently, there have “only been a couple deaths” in recent years from people not quite keeping all wheels on the unrailed road. Only a couple times did we have to stop, reverse, and hug the wall in order to allow a vehicle coming up the road to pass. I thought it was narrow for a single vehicle!

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Hawaii – Day 4: visit to Pele

Posted by Jeff on April 27, 2005

Today, we had a date with a volcano. After extensive packing of lunches and hiking gear, we finally cleared out of the hotel just before noon (much later than we anticipated). This time there were no stops or sightseeing detours as we retraced our path from yesterday south along the coast. We made it to the turn off for South Point seemingly much more quickly this time at about ninety minutes, and then started back northward along the east coast. As we rose in elevation the temperature cooled and dampened to the point where we actually had the heat on in the car (since the windows were still lying unzipped behind the back seat.)
To be completely accurate, we actually did make one detour. It was intended to be an emergency bathroom break, but as fortune would have it, the side road that we chose ended up taking us to the Black Sands Beach, famous as a favorite turtle nesting place, and of course, for its smooth black lava sand. Pictures taken, snacks eaten, bladders relieved, we returned to the main road and started the climb to the peak of Kiluaea.
By the time we got to the Volcanoes National Park visitor center, it was about 3:30 in the afternoon. Keenly aware of the long, winding drive back to the hotel, we decided that we could only afford to spend a few hours in the Park, so we gave up on the idea of making it to the site of active lava flow and instead drove around the Crater Rim Drive, at the lip of the volcano. Our first short hike was through the Thurston Lava Tube, a ten foot diameter hollow tube that was melted through the rock as the lava flowed through the ground out of the side of the volcano. Unfortunately, I forgot to pack the flashlight and headlamp that would have allowed us to explore the tube deeper than the lighted section that the general public toured. On the other hand, there were a lot of tree roots protruding through the ceiling, and evidence of recent fractures in the wall of tunnel. All tunnels eventually collapse, and these things made me nervous.
The next hike, quite a bit longer at 3.5 miles, was down a zigzag path from the lip to the edge of the steaming caldera of the volcano. We had already observed a number of people hiking across the center of the caldera, so we knew that it had already been accomplished without any observable ill effects, such as death. So we took a bunch more pictures, headed across the volcano, and stopped here and there to check out the steam vents. Yes, in fact, steam is quite hot… especially steam that is being generated by deep molten rock.
After getting about halfway across the floor of the caldera, we realized that we still had at least a mile and a half to go, the terrain was getting more dangerous (smooth rolling lava becoming sharp spikey piles), the trail was less obvious, and the sun was quickly setting. So we doubled-timed it to the opposite edge and up the much-steeper trail back up to the rim. We made it back to the car by dusk and were rolling out of the park by nightfall. This, however, left us with a three-hour drive through the same wet and winding roads that we had navigated the previous night. For some reason, this return trup seemed even longer.
Once again, we successfully made it back to the hotel, and decided that we *really* needed to start actually taking a vacation instead of trying to hold the grueling sightseeing pace that we had set thus far. But since we had already registered for a morning horseback excursion the next day, it was directly to bed to try to catch up on sleep.

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Hawaii – Day 3: Finding Nemo

Posted by Jeff on April 26, 2005

Yesterday was our first real excursion, and it was a long, fantastic day. Instead of trying to make the island loop in a single day, we decided to split it up over two or three days. One day for the south coast, one for the north coast, and one for the volcano. So yesterday was our south coast tour, and we decided to rent snorkel equipment to take with us to check out the several locations that the hotel staff person had recommended on monday.
Again we woke up to the unbelievably blue ocean, sun, and “aloha”s with a smile from every staff person that we came across. I don’t know if this is a Hilton thing (to actually have helpful, cheerful staff) or if it is specific to Hawaii, but it makes a ton of difference in our own spirits and it seems, everyone else who stays here. Maybe it’s like Marie said… it’s just really tough to find a reason to not be happy here.
The hotel has its own ocean-fed lagoon and they rent snorkel equipment for on and off-site usage, so we rented our mask, fins, and snorkel for the week, packed lunch, grabbed the requisite tech toys (camera, camcorder, gps, cell phone) and headed south. Our first stop was (shame, shame, shame) WalMart, to get a snack for the road and more importantly, some appropriate headgear (since in the midst of the snowstorm, I seem to have forgotten to bring a hat). A few hats, snacks, and postcards later, and we were off to our first stop at the White Sands Beach (or Magic Sands Beach, or Disappearing Sands Beach). We had this marked as a good place to snorkel, so we parked the car (for an island, there’s actually a lot of parking), secured it (as much as possible with an open-top Wrangler), and headed down to the beach. The beach is called by the other names because apparently, one day there may be a ton of sand there and the next day it may be all gone. The surprising thing is how small the beach is… just a couple hundred feet long and bordered by dark lava boulders that make much of the rest of the island unpalatable for swimming. But here, the sand was soft and made for good swimming. However, our early suspicions turned out to be accurate… what made the beach great for swimming made it bad for snorkling. First, the sand was pretty extensive, so there wasn’t really anything to look at. Second, and more importantly, the surf was producing waves of about four to five feet, and breaking hard. There were more surfers on the water than swimmers in it. So we discovered pretty quickly that snorkling wasn’t going to happen when the mask and snorkel was ripped off our heads by the waves, and our fins made us completely lose footing in the sand. At one point when we were still resolute in our quest to snorkel, I was a bit further out than Marie and looked back to see a wave break over her in a torrent of sand and foam. It being a soft bottom and still shallow, I figured that she’d pop back up at some point. She did, of course, but not before being completely inverted and dragged along the bottom for a bit. Drink of the day: Sand in the Shorts. So we gave up on the snorkel gear and swam back out sans equipment. Now it was fun. We swam under the breaking waves and came up cleanly on the other side, making it out far enough to be past the break point. Then, not having a surf or body board, we decided to ride the breaking waves with our bodies, swimming with the wave at exactly the right time to get carried on the surface of it in to the beach. It took a few tries, but we started getting the hang of it. Then it was my turn. I started swimming with the wave just as it was breaking (instead of just before it started breaking) and suddenly discovered that my right leg was over my head while my left leg was still straight out behind me. This was immediately followed a pumice facial scrub worthy of the best spa in the country. A snootfull of sea foam later and I was lying in foot-deep water on the shore. That was my first real experience getting rolled by a wave. Back into the water to do it again! (Marie thought it was funny, incidentally.)
After a bit more swimming, we rode one final wave in to the beach (this was the best of all attempts, with the wave carrying us on the surface about thirty yards in about five seconds), rinsed off and climbed back into the Jeep to find a real snorkling spot. We had been alerted to a small out of the way cove in Honaunau where, according to the information, one could wade into the water, put on the mask, and look underwater and see tons of brilliant marine life. This turned out not to be an exaggeration at all. We pulled up into a very rural, undeveloped off-the-main-road neighborhood beach to find many families already in the water, snorkling just offshore. We both knew immediately that we had found the right place, both because of the people excitedly yelling to each other to “look at this”, and because of the fact of there being a lot of families. White Sands Beach was surrounded by hotels and apartments, and by surfers looking to catch a wave, but this place was completely different… much more relaxed and natural. So again, we grabbed our snorkel equipment and headed to the water’s edge. Marie was the first one in, and as soon as she put her face in the water, she shouted “Oh my gosh! Come here! Come here!”. So we floated around a bit, checking out the entire cast of “Finding Nemo” (minus the sharks). I came prepared: Underwater reusable camera, good to 95 feet, with flash. I’m really hoping that some of these pics come out, but I’m sure that none of them will really capture the experience, especially when we found a beautiful underwater arch, created by the lava flows and built up by the corals… or when we were swimming in the shallows and a couple three-foot-long tortoises swam up next to us. This place was an absolute gem, and I suspect, not well known by many of the tourists.
With much reluctance and a few chills we packed back up to get to South Point before the day wore on too much. From here on, the road wound up and down along the coast, and cut through several lava flows anywhere from the mid 1800’s to the late 1950’s. As it started to sprinkle we got to the turn-off for South Point, pulled off, and put up the top on the Jeep, since it had cooled off considerably… and it was wet. An eleven-mile drive down the peninsula followed, and the road that took us there went from new, smooth, two-lane highway, to smooth lane-and-a-half road, to single lane paved country road, to broken, uneven, overgrown, single-lane path. Now, the white convertible Sebring that had been tailing us so closely the entire way began to back off a bit. The directions said “stay left at the fork in the road after the abondoned buildings”. The trick was figuring out *which* fork and *which* abandoned buildings, but we did eventually come upon a hand painted sign that said “Green Beach Parking”, so at least we knew we were close. I had read that any other vehicles other than those that we high-clearance and 4-wheel drive should park there and walk the two miles to the beach. As fortune would have it (and a bit of planning), we were in fact riding in a 4-wheel drive, high clearance vehicle. I love the Jeep. So we continued down a well-used but not groomed trail towards the water… it was bumpy and fun but hardly a challenge in the Wrangler. Did I mention that the Sebring had continued past us when we pulled into the parking area to get our bearings? Now we met them coming back up the trail. They motioned that we had to turn around and go the other way. We waved, smiled, and continued. At the end of this trail was a boat launch to the ocean and a heavy steel gate that at one time probably blocked access to the path that continued along the shoreline. My suspicion was that since we didn’t have a boat to launch and I had read about the “heavy steel gate”, that was were we wanted to be. Here the path got incredibly rocky with the broken up jagged pieces of lava that were everywhere. I’m ashamed to say that we started up a steep slope and before reaching the peak, I backed out because I thought that we were going to bottom out and/or blow a tire on one of the rock points. Yes… I who have been driving a Jeep for six years backed out of this offroad trail. So we gathered our stuff, parked the car, and started down the path on foot… until another white Wrangler crested the top and came down towards us. They reported that it was in fact the path to the Green Sand Beach, and it was navagable by vehicle but hairy at times. That was enough. Bested by someone with less prudence and more guts than I (and no experience driving a Wrangler besides), we tossed the stuff back in the car and attacked the slope. Or rather, the slope attacked us. This path was like nothing I’ve ever driven, but everything I ever wanted to! It was like a free Camp Jeep. The paths cross-crossing the ground had been worn by, I’m guessing, the military vehicles that used to drive through here before the Army base just up the road was abandoned, and many had already been so rutted that they were completely impassable. Here it was a simple drive across the sand and brush, there it was a thirty-degree climb over more of the lava rocks, picking our way around tire-eaters and fender-scrapers. Several times we came up on a pass that I was not sure how well the car would handle, and each time we both came away more impressed with how well this vehicle crawls across, over, and through. When horses that are used to running catch a bit of a breeze on their face, they tug at the reins a bit, trying to break into a full gallop. Marie’s car does this at about 70mph on the expressway and its starts to get content at about 80mph. Wranglers do this on trails like this. I swear the car was smiling as we bounced and skidded around the bends and curves. Well… at the very least, we were definitely smiling. This was definitely an unexpected bonus of the trip. Hmm… the journey was as good as the destination. Very philosophical.
Finally, we pulled over the last hill to see the ancient cinder cone of the volcano peaking up from the shore. This was it. We parked the Jeep at the edge of the cliff face and hiked the last remaining hundred yards to the rim, and then of course, down the inside to the cove at the base where the green sand collects. Unfortunately, the sun was on its way down, and was not shining on the cove in the way to give it the brilliant green color. The digital pictures we took do it even less justice, but looking at the sand, it was indeed almost entirely composed of emerald green bits of rock. With the sun now dropping quickly we packed back up and headed back out the same way… just a little less cautiously this time, since we had done it once already and we didn’t really want to be caught in the dark on the trail. We made it back to the main road by dusk and then then retraced our steps on the long, dark, winding, and now rain-soaked two lane highway back to the hotel. Upon our return at 10pm, we quickly forgot about wanting a big, elaborate dinner, and grabbed a burger and salad to bring back to the room. We barely managed to finish eating before we collapsed into bed for the best night’s sleep we’ve had since arriving here.

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Hawaii – Day 2: paradise

Posted by Jeff on April 25, 2005

Woke up to the sounds of palm tree leaves swaying in the breeze, and runners on the path along the shore, and some really nice-sounding birds, and one really annoying one that sat right outside our balcony. So I got up (at 6:30 am!) and took the picture for the previous day’s post.
Since the bed faces diagonally into the room (and towards the ocean), when Marie woke up, I told her to sit up and look out the door while I swept away the curtains. Blue ocean and green grass everywhere. It was nice.
We took our time waking up and then went to a presentation by the hotel staff on sites and attractions on the island. Oh yeah… and free Kona coffee… good stuff! Then we took a stroll around the grounds to see what they really looked like in the sunlight. Below are some pictures that we took around the grounds, as we repeatedly ran into a couple about our age who was also at the morning presentation and who was also on their honeymoon and who had also gotten married on the 16th.
Then it was off to Kona, or rather past Kona, then after a turn-around, back to Kona to get some groceries for lunches and snacks so that we could avoid the $3.50 apples and $12 sandwiches at the hotel restaurants and snack bars. We made it back from Kona just in time for a time share presentation that netted us a $100 Hilton gift certificate and almost ended up making us late for our sunset dinner cruise on a chartered twin-hulled catamaran. Our presentor at the during the morning session mentioned that on this side of the island, it rains three days out of the year. While we were getting ready to sail, it started sprinkling. Ah well… apparently we dragged some Michigan Weather ™ with us on the journey. But the Hawaiian climate prevailed and we ended up with a great (if *almost* chilly) evening sail and beautiful sunset.
Back to the room now, and ready to finally catch up on much lost sleep… and very ready to wake up to the same blue ocean tomorrow morning.

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Hawaii – Day 1: splish splash

Posted by Jeff on April 24, 2005

Wooooo! We’re here!
Hawaii = perfect temperature, perfect humidity
When I checked in, the woman at the desk said, “Hang on, I think I have the perfect room for you.” After she went and talked to her manager, we found ourselves upgraded from a partial ocean view room, to a full ocean view. It’s been dark for a while now, so all we can see from our balcony is a big black expanse of sea, only slightly lit by the full moon. Can’t wait to see it in the morning!
And the hotel grounds are amazing! Lagoon pools, waterfalls, and tiki torches burning everywhere!
Pix soon.
Update: Pix Now.

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a beautiful snow… for December

Posted by Jeff on April 24, 2005

By unfortunate combination of weather (snow) and service (Northwest), our flight out to Hawaii from Metro was delayed 4-ish hours. Our captain, who probably gave us more information than he should have, informed us that we were first waiting for a part for a plane in Seattle, and then after two hours of (“just another 5 minutes or so”) we finally got in the air. A hurried plane switch in Seattle, and we were off again for Hawaii. The surprise on this leg was that the flight now had a layover in Maui instead of being direct to Kona. BUT… we’ve finally made it to Hawaii! (It was a relief to find out that Northwest held the Hawaii flight from Seattle for the two-plus hours that they needed to in order to get all of the folks on our flight to that one. The people already on the flight weren’t nearly as relieved as the rest of us however.)
So now we’re getting ready to debark from Maui for Kona, and also to our relief, the car rental company will be waiting for us to pick up our car. The only remaining challenge (fingers crossed) will be finding the hotel in the dark after being up for most of the last 22 hours. Ah well. Tomorrow we sleep, and when we wake, we drink Kona coffee from the source!

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back in Michigan for a stint and a wedding

Posted by Jeff on April 21, 2005

After a much-needed vacation and rest in Florida, Marie and I are back in Michigan for another exam and lab, and Matt and Jane’s wedding of course. On monday, I totally bottomed out and ended up taking a longish nap, followed on tuesday by an even longer one. We were both amazed at how much we slept and how tired we still felt. But after a few days of not doing much of anything, I think we’ve almost caught back up.
Today was Matt’s rehearsal, and it was sort of surreal, being in his wedding and just having been in my own. But it was nice to be able to enjoy the events without having any actual responsibility. So we have tomorrow and saturday in town, and then off to Hawaii! (It’s not a secret anymore.)
Oh… and it looks like I managed to squeek out decent grades from my classes this term on top of it all. Full month. Good month.

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Day Two

Posted by Jeff on April 18, 2005

The wedding went great.
The reception was fantastic.
Nothing weird happened, and nobody screwed anything up.
The above makes me wonder if it really was our wedding.

Now we’re in Florida at the condo in Coconut Creek, enjoying the 72-degree weather and sun, happy to escape the Michigan weather of… err… 72 and sunny. Ah well. There’s an ocean here.

The flight was fine, and life was easier, since our luggage was carry-on only. However, as much as like Enterprise car rentals, this is the first problem that I’ve had with them. I pointed out what I thought was a low tire to the guy at the rental place, who told me it was fine. When I got on the expressway, the car was all over the road. Fortunately, the condo is only a few miles from the airport. So the first order of business was to check and air up the tire. 12 PSI in the tire that I pointed out. Huh. Drives a lot better now with air in it.

Beyond that, everything is great. And obviously, I have internet access. Life is good.

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T-minus 1

Posted by Jeff on April 15, 2005

So with all the stuff going on leading up to the wedding, I probably should have been making entries all along. But while I have two seconds on the day of the rehearsal, I wanted to at least get some stuff down. Maybe I’ll be able to fill it in a bit more while we’re in florida.

Some things that may be interesting down the road:
1) DON’T get married and try to take finals at the same time. Actually, don’t get married and try to do ANYTHING else at the same time.
2) How did people do this before cell phones? If Marie and I weren’t on the phone with each other, we were text paging back and forth.
3) It might be a better idea to have the bachelor party at least two days before the rehearsal. That is… if you plan on eating the rehearsal dinner.
4) Delegate!
5-100) … to be filled in later.

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Grand Ledge field trip

Posted by Jeff on April 6, 2005




under the outcrop

Originally uploaded by jeffab.

As part of one of my geology classes (330 – Sedimentology and Stratigraphy) it was mandated that all students participate in a six-hour field trip to Grand Ledge, MI.

Six hours. Outside. Climbing on rocks. In the sun… bummer.

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